Why do we do this to ourselves?

I’ll admit it: I occasionally lurk on the r/Lawyertalk subreddit. Partly because some of the discussions are fascinating or funny, and partly as a reminder of why I chose to focus my career on conflict management techniques other than litigation.

I recently came across a post entitled “Civil Litigators: Why do you do this to yourselves?” The original poster ended with a pointed question: “How do you people do this all day? Why do you do it all day? Are you okay?”

The consensus in the responses was perhaps best summarized by this succinct reply: “I do it for the money. And no, I’m not okay.”

Further down the thread, commenters pointed out something even more telling: the actual settlement value of a case can often be closely estimated at the outset, but clients need to be “ground down” before they’ll agree to settle. Sigh. The phrase “vicious circle” comes to mind.

Don’t get me wrong—some litigation is absolutely necessary. We owe many civil rights, consumer protections, and corporate accountability measures to the strategic use of litigation. But when assessing our options in a dispute, I believe we could all benefit from a reality check: “Is litigation really worth it in this case?” and “Why are we going to do this to ourselves?

The Reddit discussion is an enlightening read and worth even just a quick skim during your morning coffee.